I have discovered insane, presumptuous, and hilarious hotel reviews by guests and I must share them with you! Thanks to my love for traveling, I usually check out hotel reviews so I can get a sense of the hotel I might want to stay at. From this, I have learned that people are absolutely insane when it comes to some of the aspects of hotels that they complain about. So check out these 19 complaints that I have set aside just for you and just laugh, and laugh, and laugh some more.

Complaining that there’s too many Italian channels in Italy.

Because channels in other languages in another country is just insane.

Upset over the options of a free, FREE, free, FREE breakfast.

Callate, that breakfast is FREE! And people starving down the street…

No complimentary water!?!?

It’s called a water faucet and a cup. Free!

The bed is too hard, too soft, too bouncy, too flat, too square.

The bed is not yours. The hotel can’t accommodate every bed-type preference. So why talk about it? Stay at home then…

“What kind of 5-star hotel has Holiday Inn quality pillowcases?”

What’s wrong with Holiday Inn?

It’s like, instant coffee, gross.

It’s like coffee with caffeine and it’s free.

“I had to prepare the coffee on my work desk because the room was so small.”

How horrible that the hotel room wasn’t as big as you wanted…you could have upgraded…or gone to another hotel. It ain’t like there wasn’t photos online…

“We got upgraded to a better room. Ugh.”

Who gets mad that they got upgraded to a better room?!

Mad that kids were in the hotel pool…when it’s a hotel that allows kids.

Are you serious?

“I can’t believe I have to take a shower in the bath!” (when the hotel has a bath/shower combo)

I can’t believe that’s a complaint.

“Our sheets were not changed in 5 days!”

Don’t act like you wash your sheets at home within less than five days of using them! You know you do it once a week or two. Besides, how nasty did you get those sheets?

“The staff basically spoke faultless English. I was impressed.”

I truly hate seeing people comment on how well the staff at hotels “speak English.” No one ever says, “Their Spanish/German/Chinese/French was awesome.” Why? Because English speaking travelers are so spoiled and think everyone should know English just for them.

News flash–most countries are way ahead of us in education; they actually encourage their citizens to learn other languages while some people in the U.S. are too worried about ranting to those who speak other languages, “This is America, we speak American here!”

(My rant for this blog :))

“The reception couldn’t provide a thermometer.”

A toothbrush, toothpaste, extra shampoo–that is what receptions usually have. What would make you think they have a thermometer?

“This is a low class, low budget people kind-of-place. It’s possible the pool is the first bath many of these people have seen in a month, so we didn’t go in!” 

Oh, my God. I flipped when I saw this comment! WHO SAYS stuff like this?! Get off your high horse. Oh, and let me add that I had to capitalize the first letter of the first words of their sentences. Are you so “low class” that you don’t know the basic grammar rules of capitalization?

Don’t worry though, readers, because there is a sort of “happy” ending to this outrageous comment. I was SO glad to see the manager reply to this comment with the following:

“Since most of our guest are families and seniors, I have to wonder where you are in life to make such insulting remarks about every guest in the hotel.” 

Oh, yeah!

“Beds are overused.”

Probably because it’s a hotel, and people go to hotels to sleep in beds.

“Rooms are small when there’s a pullout sofa, a rollaway bed, or an extra cot.”

That is kind of how space works. You add stuff to space, space gets smaller. Duh.

“I didn’t care for the room configuration. It is so modern and bright but shaped like a square box.”

“Ugh, like, bright and modern, how horrible. And rooms that are square? So last year.”

Complaints that the pool was cold.

Unless it’s a heated pool or Texas in the middle of July, the pool is probably going to be cold. That’s how water works, honey.

“There is no bench [in the shower] so women you won’t be able to shave your legs.”

LOL. Oh, well, sorry, women. No bench! What shall we do but suffer on our vacation with hairy legs?!

Still trying to figure out why one would need a bench in the shower to shave one’s legs…You crazy.

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